Punching Little Birds in the Face

I don't expect anything

2012-02-01T11:45:00.000-08:00

{via Magical Game Time}

Zac Gorman: yes.

This is like the illustrated version of what I'm doing with my Zelda poems. My insides are running around in circles screaming right now.

yr telling me

2012-01-31T15:58:00.000-08:00

{via inflated/deflated}

Came across this project today & think it's adorable.

On romance:

2012-01-27T23:52:00.000-08:00

part-time

2012-01-23T18:12:00.000-08:00

{via Need Supply Co.}

Sometimes you know you missed yr chance.

"the camera as convenient as the pencil"

2012-01-21T23:23:00.000-08:00

It's possible that no analogue-film death will hit me as hard as the end(ish) of Polaroid, but I'm still sad to think about Kodak's bankruptcy. I remember doing a project in middle school about George Eastman & being super caught up in him: I loved his obsession with photography, with simplification, with the "everyday affair" photography could be. I could write a whole mini lecture here (He invented film as we know it! The first motion picture film! The first xray film [just a year after xrays were discovered]! Someone in that company invented digital cameras!) but really, I just want to show you this:

{via Lomography}

{13 years later the first full length color movie would appear}

The first time I saw this I had a mini panic attack & started crying. It was so magical & impossible & I knew, somehow, in watching it that something incredible had eluded me, is eluding me still.

This day is always yrs

2012-01-20T22:21:00.000-08:00

mapstalgia

2012-01-19T23:29:00.000-08:00

{via mapstalgia}

Zelda maps from memory. YES.

the snow it came down on me

2012-01-18T20:13:00.000-08:00

Got to be careful, I know, but I let it all the same.

Don't tell me there ain't no more

2012-01-17T15:48:00.000-08:00

I didn't realize how much I liked this song until today.

A while ago a friend handed me a huge bag of records & this KC & the Sunshine Band album was in there. I went straight for this track & have been playing the song all day.

you knew I'd come back to you

2012-01-13T12:48:00.000-08:00

Some ppl know just what you want:

{Home is everywhere.}

Cloven

2012-01-05T22:50:00.000-08:00

{via Hilary Walsh via Closet Visit}

Butter soft hoof boots with glitter on the stacked wood heel. I envy these like you can't believe & would wear them till they fell apart under me.

There's only make

2012-01-04T22:01:00.000-08:00

{via(ish) The OKBB, (emphasis mine)}

genuine sincerity

2012-01-03T09:52:00.000-08:00

[A]ll it takes to become part of the “indie lit scene”... [is] blogging, linking, commenting, and submitting relentlessly.

The cranks out there will say that what I’m describing sounds like a pile of in-crowd, who-you-know bullshit and just offers further proof that editors only publish their friends. But to them I’d say — if it’s that easy, go make some friends and tell me how it works out for you. The truth is, we’re not “friends.” We may be on Facebook, but in real life we’re not attending each other’s baby showers and third-cousins’ funerals. It takes engagement and effort to make a name for yourself. There’s no room for elitism or snobbery, and good luck to you if you’re only shooting for The New Yorker and The Paris Review. I’ve said this before but I’ll say it here too: if The Buttcrack Review asked me for a poem I’d send them three.

To close, I offer this: I think there’s only one single thing that can help get a person ahead — genuine sincerity. All one has to do is truly love what this little pocket of the publishing world has to offer, and express that love by taking advantage of all available possibilities. And the best thing about it is anyone, absolutely anyone, can do so at any time. That is the strength of the “indie lit” scene.

{Molly Gaudry via Used Furniture Review}

YES.

The baby songbook

2012-01-01T23:46:00.000-08:00

{via BibliOdyssey via Leathers}

I absolutely want to eat Tom Seidmann-Freud's illustrations.

I'm right here

2011-12-31T18:02:00.000-08:00

the arrangement of the natural & artificial

2011-12-30T22:19:00.000-08:00

{via Lordy Rodriguez}

Finding a lot of inspiration lately in the possible applications of topography.

Gave good

2011-12-29T23:42:00.000-08:00

I actually managed to make many of my presents this year, something I resolve to do every time the holidays come around. This year I baked up a bunch of batches of the NYT's Olive Oil Granola, & created some whiskey marshmallows (using this basic marshmallow recipe as a base) which I paired with a tiny bottle of Makers & some hot cocoa mix.

(For some reason my auto post didn't so much post this automatically for me last night...)

Got good

2011-12-28T23:32:00.000-08:00

All Zelda all day

2011-12-27T23:13:00.000-08:00

Today I spent a couple of hours in a cafe writing about Wind Waker (honestly at some point I felt like if I had to imagine any more of the possible configurations of light & stone & sand & doors I might lose my mind. Permanently.) & a couple of hours engaging in Skyward Sword.
But what I really want to share is this great text animation Gregor sent me today:

It's a version of a project he did recently using part of one of my poems. Want to watch it again? Just hit refresh.

strong

2011-12-26T23:42:00.000-08:00

{via Little Paper Planes}

immediately before & after

2011-12-25T22:02:00.000-08:00

Today exhausted me with its awesomeness (ok, last night might have helped too), but I want to share some sparkle before this eve is ended.

Merry Christmas. Enjoy it all.

Season evening

2011-12-24T23:57:00.000-08:00

Friends & fireside (& phones).

Hope your evening is as warm.

winter means light

2011-12-23T23:56:00.000-08:00

Tonight I think it was so cold in my house that while I was pouring it boiling sugar cooled quickly enough that my marshmallows failed. (Fear not, I will try again tomorrow.)
Makes me wish I was back here pretty hard:

or be enslav'd by another Man's

2011-12-22T23:59:00.000-08:00

I will not Reason and Compare; my business is to Create.
--William Blake

Flash print

2011-12-21T18:28:00.000-08:00

I had my Instax with me the day I shot at Powell Butte & took this unexpected but magical picture (doesn't it look like a sunprint?):

Black milk of dawn

2011-12-20T23:48:00.000-08:00

I've been reading the Hamburger translations of Celan slowly & joyfully for a while now, but the other day Flo read some of the poems out loud to me in their original language & I flipped.
I recorded her reading the poems in German, followed by myself reading the English translations. I wish I could record the whole book poem for poem, but for now, a few of my favorite shorter poems will have to suffice:

{Crystal}

{With a Variable Key}

{The trumpet part}

{Your hands full of hours}

2011-12-19T23:55:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite places to get presents during the holidays are grocery stores (esp if you have a New Seasons, which stocks things like those super tiny super strong magnet sets & adorable white ceramic elephant tea pots, nearby). Here are a few of the things I love & will be giving this year:

The Winter Vegetarian: Darra Goldstein
Lodge 12-Inch Skillet
Bambu Rounded Spatula
Moroccan Ras El Hanout Spice
William's Sonoma Spoonula
Jacobsen Salt Co. Sea Salt
Sabatino & Co Truffle Salt
Better Than Bouillon No Chicken
Sabatino & Co White Truffle Oil

swag

2011-12-18T22:01:00.000-08:00

Dropped in the Pub Fair for a minute today & picked up some books, including Octopus' re-print of CD Wright's 40 Watts, & a Poor Claudia tote to haul it home in.

Advice: get ye the same (use the internet if you are far from The Cleaners)!

"like idk"

2011-12-17T21:41:00.000-08:00

Spent a long time yesterday looking at Kate Durbin's tumblr project. I have very complicated feelings about it, but overall I am excited it exists.

So very lady

2011-12-16T23:56:00.002-08:00

I did not take this picture, but the taking of it made me want a dslr pretty badly.

The spirit

2011-12-15T23:58:00.000-08:00

Christmas tree: lit & beribboned & hung with what sparkles; everywhere garland & light.

come or go

2011-12-14T22:38:00.000-08:00

Took a frigid photo walk at Powell Butte today after work:

outside

2011-12-13T18:32:00.000-08:00

a spark

2011-12-12T12:54:00.000-08:00

Yesterday before work I had time for brunch & Crafty Wonderland & then, inspired by all the craftiness, time for some crafting of my own, but I didn't quite have time to share the sparkling loveliness that is the holidays:

I'll try to post again today to make up for yesterday's little slip up.

Firsts

2011-12-10T23:38:00.000-08:00

Today I finally learned how to do something I'd been wanting to do for a long time: letterpress! I am now nominally sufficient at typesetting, framing, inking & pressing. I made a text art print that I'd long been wanting to have up on my wall. I'm debating putting a picture of it up, since there are a few ppl who will be getting my hand-pressed prints as gifts. Would that ruin the surprise? Make it less joyful? I'm not sure.

On a side note: Cheltenham -- what a great font!

I also rode the bus by myself for the first time. This seems ridiculous, but it's true. I have ridden the subway alone in NY, heck, I've ridden the metro alone in Rome, but in my own little town I had not boarded a bus alone before today.

by the passage of another

2011-12-09T19:52:00.000-08:00

I've been reading the Poems of Paul Celan lately & wanted to find a poem in the spirit of tonight's lunar eclipse. I found this, which tells you a lot about what I think when I think about the moon.

The trumpet part
deep in the glowing
lacuna
at lamp height
in the time hole:

listen your way in
with your mouth.

Nothing makes you sadder about spending all day writing poems about a video game than reading Celan.

Some dresses just want to come off.

2011-12-08T22:30:00.000-08:00

Have you read this story? You should read this story.

Nick Antosca's The Girlfriend Game

intransitive

2011-12-07T18:24:00.000-08:00

I recently developed a roll of film I found in my Lomo color splash camera, though I couldn't remember what was on it. It turned out the film had been in there since 2008. Not all the shots were great, but it was such a surprise to see these moments return to me. It was also a surprise to see this sharp seasonal divide.

{Winter, 2008}

{Fall, 2010}

{Summer, 2011}

Oh, time & time.

shake (or tremble) like a leaf (of a person)

2011-12-06T22:30:00.000-08:00

in plainsong mode

2011-12-05T23:56:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I cleared the photos from 2010 off of my hard drive (all 30 gigs of them) & was finally able to download the photos from my camera. Here are a few from a recent photo walk.

Law of equivalent exchange

2011-12-04T15:18:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been truly nervous any time something's started to go right for me, because there's been a huge negative backlash every time I start feeling ok. Case in point:

On Friday this lovely woman who makes incredible jewelry came in to the cafe. We chatted about her upcoming marathon & she stepped aside to wait for her drink. While she waited she pulled a pair of hand cut & hammered silver earrings from her purse & said "These go with your necklace! You should have them." I was beaming for the rest of the day.

When I got home I had a hot shower, made a tea & planned to embark upon my 800th round of 1Q84. I was flossing my teeth & suddenly I heard a *ping* & looked down. My gold crown was in the sink. I had flossed it right the heck out of my mouth.

I don't know exactly how life math works, but I'm pretty sure somehow those free earrings cost me like $200 in emergency dental.

The most ironic thing about this? Her jewelry company, I s**t you not, is called Flossy. LIFE!

Sometimes some more

2011-12-03T09:53:00.000-08:00

Adding to my excitement about the upcoming chapbook is the fact that Rick DeLucco, an amazing illustrator/designer/artist/pal, is doing the cover art.

His stuff is so so beautiful & brings me a ton of joy. Check out his Keys Open Doors series & his posters. He's also done some lovely work for Poor Claudia, as well as the incredible art for the Typhoon records Hunger & Thirst & A New Kind of House.

(On a minor side note, if you don't have these albums, please get them. Right from the link. Or on vinyl. All proper-like. & if you live in the area, Typhoon is playing two shows today at Mississippi Studios. They really are unbeatable live.)

Sometimes

2011-12-02T09:43:00.000-08:00

I've wanted to share this for a while, but kept it under wraps until now: yesterday Hyacinth Girl Press officially announced that my chapbook, Sometimes there are travails, will be released as part of their 2012 lineup!

I wrote these poems in a no-sleep::brain fever::bad time. I was disassembled & this was what I could do with some of the parts. Now everything everywhere is separate & so it is a glory::gold light::all joy.

& when some time has passed I can pass it on to you.

Advent

2011-12-01T20:21:00.000-08:00

In December, I'm going to treat this blog like an Advent calendar: I'm going to (try to) post something every day.

Big words from a little girl.

But isn't each day a little present? & don't you want to unwrap it with me?

Tomorrow: a biggish share.

Can't stop watching this video:

2011-11-28T17:09:00.000-08:00

{Invisible Light by Scissor Sisters}

It's like Holy Mountain & El Topo woke up with Belle de Jour in a Henry James rewrite of Lady Chatterly's Lover. Plus there's all the laser triangles of a Yacht video thrown in there for good measure. It's directed by Nicolás Méndez, the guy who did that amazing/sexy video for El Guincho's Bombay.

I don't know how it existed in this world for an entire year & I only managed to see it for the first time last night, but whatever -- we're together now.

Let us put an end to that which binds us together

2011-11-23T22:36:00.000-08:00

Something epic happened last night: I finished Wind Waker.

Finally.

Now there's only one question left: move on to Skyward Sword or start Wind Waker again from the beginning? (I know, I know: Majora's Mask. I'll get there. I swear.)

Because I did suffer I must suffer

2011-11-19T20:11:00.000-08:00

After dinner Donne.

From the Holy Sonnets:

14
O might those sighs and tears return again
Into my breast and eyes, which I have spent,
That I might in this holy discontent
Mourn with some fruit, as I have mourned in vain;
In mine idolatry what showers of rain
Mine eyes did waste! what griefs my heart did rent!
That sufferance was my sin, now I repent;
Because I did suffer I must suffer pain.
Th' hydroptic drunkard, and night-scouting thief,
The itchy lecher, and self tickling proud
Have the remembrance of past joys, for relief
Of coming ills. To poor me is allowed
No ease; for, long, yet vehement grief hath been
The effect and cause, the punishment and sin.

You see what I see

2011-11-16T16:17:00.000-08:00

Been running around like mad. I'm away from my computer again, but when I get back maybe things will get better if they don't get worse.

If you'd like to peek in on what I see wherever I am, I'm doing a pretty fine job of posting photos to like been hounding me.

Love 'em while you got 'em

2011-11-07T09:50:00.000-08:00

Goodbye last living grandparent.

Later & later

2011-10-14T15:51:00.000-07:00

If you are in Portland tonight you should head to the Portland Art Museum for Shine a Light, the night the social practice art students from PSU take over the museum & give away free art tattoos (no really, check out how amazing this is: tattoos designed by the likes of Kate Binghaman-Burt, Amy Rupell, & Evan B Harris) & hairdos & make recipies based on art &, um, squaredance.

I am reading there at 6:30 in an abandoned old Art Deco elevator. Later in the night Donald Dunbar, Emily Kendal Frey, Sarah Bartlett, Matthew Dickman, James Gendron & Rodney Koeneke will also be reading in similarly hidden spots. Think coat-check closets.

The work I'm reading is new. Desperately new. I wrote the main poem last night. I didn't sleep about it. Apparently this is how I work.

Shine a Light goes until midnight, then I come home & pack.

Early the next morning I head to Denver to read for Bad Shadow Affair with J. Michael Martinez, Molly Gaudry & Elisa Gabbart. I'm so stoked about this & out of my mind to be spending a few days with Mathias & Julia.

Hopefully I will not be up again all night tonight making poems, as much as I like new poems, because I can't afford to feel any more sick & insane than I do right now.

Rallying....

Heels & an umbrella. A borrowed belt.

2011-10-10T17:27:00.000-07:00

NY was even more amazing than I had expected. I think I'm still trying to figure out how to talk about it. Although I brought two cameras (& my phone, which I treat very much as a real camera) & received four cameras as gifts on Fri, I did not take very many pictures.

Fri was all Fama early at the terminal

naps & jackets

being given my first long-longed-for Twin Lens Reflex (a Yashica. Be still my heart) by Brandon on the steps of the Met

& being surprised by R. with tickets to Sleep No More, of which I can only show you this

because they take everything from you at the door. & it is dark. Five floors of dark & mask & silence & maze & decay & artifact. & my first moments spent alone in some dark hallways & darker rooms with a nurse.
& a wooden wheelchair that converted to a gurney.
While I was in it.

The best. Ever.

I would go again. I would go right now.

Sat was brunch & whiskey & toy stores & Beyonce videos & roast chicken & whiskey & whiskey with Ben & Jules & Dan & Sampson & Paige. & poems.

The reading was gorgeous. SUPERMACHINE is the best. Ben is the best. Can they both be the best? Yes. Dan Hoy couldn't make it so James Copeland filled in with his soft voice & levitating bangs

Julia's poetry was vying against her shoes for my undying affection

& Dan got heckled during his reading about Zelda emulators (ok, ya. By me).

After the reading I ran around begging everyone to find the index card on which he'd taped the Zelda part of his poem. Brandon had to steal it for me. From Jules. But then I kept it in my purse like an amulet the rest of the trip.

Then Ben & Bianca opened up their lovely house to us & somehow there was more whiskey & we played Smokey Robinson & Ying Yang Twins & I started down the path of the 100 surprises & fell madly in love with Megan on the dance floor & convinced her to take Macgregor to Sleep No More. Late late into the morning the last of our hosts passed out (sitting up in the kitchen) & we wandered into the street & Matvei champed it out & escorted me on an epic dawn walk back to Ben's.

The rest of my time there was soft & softer: brunch, cashmere, bookstores, & another reading w/ Jules & Ben on Sun; Mon was more bookstores, Mexican corn & the Impossible Project showroom w/ R.

Plus some pre-plane EmergenC cocktails with Ben & Brandon.

If the world worked right, I would never have come home.

High/light

2011-09-25T12:03:00.000-07:00

By the calendar at least, the hard summer has ended, so I'm doing my best to let it go. Into Fall, then:

I somehow magicked my way into a Supermachine reading with Juila Cohen (who is not only a super babe & sick poet, but also a master of postcards & google eyes), Dan Boehl & Dan Hoy. I do not know the Dans, but I bet they are awesome & when I get back I will probably tell you exactly how awesome they are.

I wanted v. badly to have something to share with ppl at the reading & I've been pretty hung up on those text arts lately, so with a little help from Brandon & Ian I made these:

I've got three packs of 4x4 vinyl stickers -- let the giving begin.

On a shallower note: Fall in NY + UNIQLO = cashmere sweaters until I die.

"there was nothing else I was supposed to carry"

2011-09-20T20:57:00.000-07:00

What I should be looking at is inside of me. Like staring down into a deep well. Can I see kindness there? No.
-- Haruki Murakami

Yesterday I was (clearly) having a serious case of the Mondays. Despite meeting friends for coffee & reading & writing & having dinner & cocktails with a pal, it wasn't enough & by the time the dark came I was dark. & then I shared it with you.

Lots of ppl have given me books in the last month (yr all awesome) & many of those (non-poetry) books have suggested, in one form or another, loving-kindness towards the self. When I see one of my failings I'm supposed to say: "failing! hey! I see you there. I'm not judging any of this though!" They never specifically warn against it, but I'm pretty sure noticing it out loud on the internets does not count as an act of kindness.

So to make up for that, I had date day with myself. I walked a couple of miles on the Springwater instead of going to the gym:

hiked around a park near the Tryon Creek:

went to another park to read in the sun but couldn't pay the parking meters because I didn't have a credit card on me, so I lay out in my backyard (welcome back baby summer) while reading a magazine, got inspired by said magazine to stretch my summer of eating nearly nothing but blueberries by making a simple jam with them:

then cooked a serious meal of quinoa with sauteed mushrooms, onions, & garlicky baby spinach:

followed by vanilla bean honey roasted figs with havarti & almonds:

Then I did some witchy writing in the falling dark:

& am about to have a tea & get in bed & read more about maitri. Because if this is it, I can handle it.

Again. & again.

2011-09-19T20:56:00.000-07:00

I have been putting off writing this blog entry for days because it makes me feel bad & I think it makes me look bad. But I feel bad. & I must, all the time, when I'm aware of it & not, look bad to other people. So, ok:

Last week I noticed that this post was the most read post of that week. I was a little surprised bc it's from Feb '09 & I don't know who got there or why or how. But I clicked on the post, curious to see what they had found.

Re-reading it I was hit was a feeling both familiar & impossible, like seeing someone walk by with your face on. I didn't remember writing any of it, but every word was just what I was struggling with. I told myself then "I want to feel my feelings honestly in the instant that I'm feeling them & I want to be honest about them."

It turns out I have not made any strides in that direction since February.

Of 2009.

In over 2 years I have not improved even a little in that capacity. It's one of the saddest markers of self improvement a person could come across. But it's my marker & I might as well see it & see it again every day. So thanks to whomever brought it to my attention.

&, you know, here we go.

Again.

I am waiting for the word

2011-09-15T14:19:00.000-07:00

"A word learned by listening every day for years at a hole in the ground. Years and years passing and finally the word is said.

Then, all through the town, all through the world one goes and no one can stand against one. The word is said, and houses are laid upon their sides, clouds form into veins that carry sight farther and farther than ever before. Can you see? asked the dream, the true depth of sight when one abandons the direction of one's life and takes to a single task, takes to listening at a hole in the ground, years and years, and finally a word is said?

That was the first dream."

I am not kidding about the Jesse Ball thing. & I think now you know why.

continuers unluck

2011-09-14T21:50:00.000-07:00

I've taken the Diana on some jaunts the past month, but it's as if she's become another beast -- I can barely drag 3 good pictures out of a roll. But if there are a few, those few I shall share.

N. Cali:

{along the road}

{Samoa Dunes}

These photos were taken using Lomo's RedScale film:
Clear Lake:

Springwater Corridor:

It's clear this camera & I have a long way to go together yet.

It'll be such a good way to go.

so estranged from pleasure I do not recognize it

2011-09-13T18:54:00.000-07:00

Austromancy

And so, in the afternoon I am often

caught feeling as though I've gone missing
from the life I was to lead.

This is the chief pleasure, I tell myself,
of young poets.

Been just inhaling Jesse Ball's fiction & poetry lately; preparing to pick up his new book.

Mixed bag

2011-09-01T12:23:00.000-07:00

Missed yr chance at a Poor Pod? Want to try again with a different experimental/failed film? $37 gets you 6 packs of white bordered Silver Shade Orange Flash film (aka the pictures look orange & you have to use a flash).

This film works with SX-70 cameras only. So if yr camera originally took Time Zero film, yr good. If not, keep praying for another batch of Poor Pods.

All day/what's missing

2011-08-29T21:27:00.000-07:00

ritual; disclosure; the twinned other:

Duran Duran - The Chauffeur [uncensored] from mm1 on Vimeo.

2011-08-25T21:28:00.001-07:00

Revelation

2011-08-23T06:58:00.000-07:00

Been feeling all the time lately like one of those Revelation angels:

Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under his wings. Day and night they never stop saying: "Holy, holy, holy."

But also

2011-08-21T20:36:00.000-07:00

I have been watching this video over & over the last two nights. Because everyone needs some balance. & Kylie. & magic. & a neon jellyfish. & gold eyebrows?

Where I am so shall you be

2011-08-21T09:15:00.000-07:00

Crying

2011-08-18T21:47:00.000-07:00

Compassion:

2011-08-12T22:08:00.000-07:00

Apparently instead of writing poetry I am making like 5 of these a day.

I am trying to keep them under control.

"There was that afternoon..."

2011-08-10T22:34:00.000-07:00

“This photograph is my proof. There was that afternoon, when things were still good between us, and she embraced me, and we were so happy. It did happen. She did love me. Look see for yourself!”
{Duane Michals, via Miss Moss}

Sometimes it seems everyone is a better artist than you.

all the actions undone

2011-08-09T21:58:00.000-07:00

Soft push

2011-08-02T17:30:00.000-07:00

Today I picked up the first roll of film I took with my Diana. I was a bit nervous because I'd double exposed most of the shots & was afraid I'd just have a roll of overexposed messes. But what I got back was really encouraging & I'm now more excited than ever to keep playing with this camera.

{that rad number was on the side of a red sports car parked near where M & I were photowalking}

I do notice that the Diana's better than the Holga, in that it's less plasticky (better focus & less haze) & the vignetting's pretty solid & the film winds nice & tight (I have aquarium tubing in my Holga to hold the film, but it's still pretty loose in there), but in some way I think that means you have to push the Diana to get light streaks, etc., that come more naturally with the Holga.

One of the shots I was most excited about didn't quite turn out as expected, but I'm more than willing to try again:

{yes, ok, we're reading in a graveyard. So what.}

Next roll is already loaded...

My Faraway One

2011-07-26T13:18:00.000-07:00

Currently reading the selected letters of Georgia O'Keeffe & Alfred Steiglitz. This book is a beast. So far I'm amazed that O'Keeffe was a dash monster!
& a sayer of absolutely nothing:

Today the photographs were here when I came in at noon---
---and I am speechless.
What can I say---?
You must just say it yourself.

If this sounds rad to you, go grab all 800 pages of it & proceed.

Sun/Sun 600

2011-07-25T14:05:00.000-07:00

Seems like everyone's sweltering everywhere, but it's still 68 here w/ spotty sun. On one nice day & one not so nice day, I went out & shot a precious few Poor Pods, with a surprising amt of luck.

(Bet you can't tell which day was which.)

I took my Minolta to see the water/the grain/the sky

2011-07-21T11:44:00.000-07:00

Here are some of the photos from two rolls I took in FL. I got a surprising amt of light leak from the loose back when I shot in the sun (red flares), or when aiming downward (white barbs on the top & bottom of the shot). Maybe if then sun ever shines here I'll shoot some more & try to put these "effects" to better use.

double shadow

2011-07-15T06:21:00.000-07:00

Speaking of medium format cameras & double exposures, I finally put my first ever roll of color film through the Holga & it went something like: a lot of light leaks, random vignetting, double exposures (some on purpose, some on accident) & some shots that I couldn't even begin to tell you what they were. Overall? Love.

(I'm in there!)

fulfilled/overwhelmed

2011-07-14T11:23:00.000-07:00

For quite some time now I have been longing after a Diana camera. I've posted jealous comments on people's Instagram feeds when they've shown off their cameras, I've wistfully eyed the incredible Diana photos on Flikr & the Lomo site, I've put the Dreamer in my UO cart but always removed it. Since I had a Holga I couldn't quite justify another medium format camera, even though the Diana is better & I wanted it desperately.

I have also been dreaming of the days where you could take an instant photo without shielding it from light or heating it or missing half the photo (NOT that I'm complaining, Impossible Project -- you just go on & do yr thing), so I've poked around Flikr looking at Fuji's photos & asked ppl how they like shooting an Instax. But again, I'm in pretty deep with Polaroid & couldn't convince myself that another instant format camera was a good idea.

But then, in one fell swoop, every wish was answered.

When I was home last week, I got the most amazing early birthday present: a limited edition Qing Hua Diana F+ with an Instant back, along with some 120 & Instax film. I was shaking with excitement as I opened the boxes. Who am I kidding; I'm still shaking. Not only do I have a radder camera than I had hoped for, I can also do something with it I couldn't do with a Mini 50s: double exposures. I put the instant back on, um, instantly & tried one out. I haven't shot any 120 film in it yet, but I'm hoping to use at least one roll up in pinhole format.

Oh man. Oh man.

You better believe I've got something up my sleeve for you, mister.

Everything counts.

2011-07-12T13:40:00.000-07:00

Remember when this blog was more about poetry than photography?

Ya, neither do I.

Which isn't to say I'm not still as thrilled abt poetry as I am abt taking pictures. It's just harder to share. Or something. But here's a go:

The INFK reading was great because Matthew Klane is great. His voice & reading style were rad & I wish I would have known him before the reading because I would have made him read my poems for me, or at least written something for him to read. For real. A photographer from Marrow Magazine was there & shot some pictures of the reading. Check out how hot Donald & Jamalieh look.

Also to do with Don: once upon a time we were collaborating a bunch. We polished up some poems & sent them out a few times, but every place we sent them to SHUT DOWN after receiving them. So we stopped. Recently we though it might be time to try again & sent them to a place we loved & didn't want to close & lo: they accepted us. & still exist. So a poem of ours has finally found its place in the world thanks to the new Sixth Finch!

Poor Pod

2011-07-01T14:45:00.000-07:00

Guys, I don't know how it happened, but Impossible Project has re-listed Poor Pod bags on their website. There are less than 30 left (because I just bought 3!), but the deal is that $37 gets you 6 packs of black framed, monochrome 600 film.
True, they are "seconds" so some of them come out messed-the-f-up, but please: when was the last time you shot Polaroid film? & that shit looks cool. & at $1.30 a shot, you can just take the picture again!
So please, if you've longed to reconnect with your Polaroid camera or are finally deciding to commit to one you had in your room since you found it at the Goodwill or yr dad gave it to you jump on this!

Video/games

2011-06-28T16:34:00.000-07:00

Surprise! I'm reading tonight at If Not for Kidnap, due to a last minute cancellation.

I didn't have much time to get ready for it, so I skipped out on a whole day of bee-filming (no, really. You'll see.) to finally edit a series I've been back-burnering for a while.

They're video game poems that before today were tiny disconnected drafts. They're pretty much new to me, so no promises, but I'm still excited to share them.

If yr around & free, please come out & drink wine with me & try not to be horrified either that I write poems about video games or that I like such horrifying video games.

May I present Everything

2011-06-27T21:21:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I discovered Everything & have been watching them ever since. Some of the clips are amazing, some are close & most are, um, something else. But I kept watching, driven forward mostly by Sophie Kipner's adorable outfits & possibly faked accent & the fact that she looks better in my glasses than I do.
& for that music they play at the intro.
& the pale vintagey film technique.
& the random clips at the beginning & end of each episode.

No, really. Just watch it.

Everything (Ep. 2) from dannyjelinek on Vimeo.

Everything (Ep. 17) from dannyjelinek on Vimeo.

Everything (Ep. 15) from dannyjelinek on Vimeo.

Everything (Ep. 12) from dannyjelinek on Vimeo.

(the last one! the last one!)

Other great pieces include Gene Janey's from the first ep, Robyn Von Swank's from the seventh, Danny Jelinek & Jason Whetzell's in the 11th, Brian Wysol's in the 13th, Jason Whetzell's in the 16th & any others you see & like.

They even have an episode in 3D! But if you're excited because you permanently borrowed the 3D glasses they gave you when you saw Cave of Forgotten Dreams, be advised: they don't work. Maybe you really need those two toned glasses.

Undone Spring

2011-06-20T10:28:00.000-07:00

It's not perfect, but it exists. This is what I've been listening to for months while waiting for the sun to shine. I wish I'd had the patience/coding skills to make these into one .xspf file (this was already the most code I've fiddled with in some time), but the songs should play one after the other anyway.
Needless to say I don't own any of these songs & if anyone wants them taken down, please let me know.
UPDATE: Some ppl were having trouble getting the songs to play, so I made an 8track of it & linked to that instead. & as an added bonus, the mix features...one of my photos!
As if you didn't see enough of those.

new (old) way

2011-06-15T16:41:00.000-07:00

I've been able to photograph with my SX-70 for the first time in a while thanks to a Poor Pod pack I got from the Impossible Project & I'm super excited to share the results. These packs were discounted because of the bad habit they have of not developing completely, but I think they're so beautiful even with their imperfections.

The scans never look exactly like the Polaroids do (you should see how intensely rust colored the messed up parts are!) but they're as accurate as I could get.

Thrilling, thrilling, thrilling.

We're unaccustomed to:

2011-06-14T18:09:00.000-07:00

Don't die of surprise -- pictures of ppl will follow.
Unheard of.

I bought this tiny baby Minolta at the thrift store a week ago

& decided to try it out at a couple of birthday parties:

First bunch were shot at night with the flash (sure, everyone looks startled, but they also have very shiny hair) & the second were taken without, just before dusk. It's not as magical as the Yashica, but it's small & light & will be perfect for tossing into my beach bag (if the sun ever comes out).

The money's all been spent

2011-06-12T09:53:00.000-07:00

A sick pair of summer Hasbeens, a couple of packs of Polaroid film (been a long time!) & these adorable lace-up Worishofers.

Responsibilities

2011-06-08T10:50:00.001-07:00

Manic/macro

2011-06-06T12:34:00.000-07:00

My plans for yesterday were all lazy plans. They involved enjoying the warm weather (aka breaking 80 for the 4th time this year) by getting coffee, writing & seeing an evening movie, but mostly I planned to spend the day laying out in my backyard. I mean, uh, reading Paris Spleen in the garden (how am I not done with that book yet? Thank gosh no one else wants to take it out from the library).
Instead of having a lazy day, I felt super antsy. I gossiped instead of writing, flipped through this month's Sunset (hellllo Whopper ice cream pie) instead of reading poetry & generally found I couldn't sit still. So I did the only thing a girl in my situation could do -- built myself an iPhone stand out of binder clips

& filmed my first ever 5x5:

Hidden Garden 5x5 from L. Ciccarello on Vimeo.

Go easy on me -- what do I know about making films, or editing them? But I've seen a lot of these on Vimeo & what most of the vignettes lack is an overall tone or intuitive narrative. It's easy to fall short, given the film's tiny form, but doing lots of work in a small space is the one dilemma for which I'm prepared.

Radio silence

2011-06-01T19:31:00.000-07:00

A song to break the silence:

If I ever went out, you bet I would play this at Beulah on Sunday nights.

I've been dreaming about ways to spend my tax return & the dream goes something like this:

My dreams involve a surprising amt of clogs....

& all the blue

2011-05-24T10:07:00.000-07:00

{snow is blue when the sky is blue}

aglow

2011-05-16T22:50:00.000-07:00

The pinker parts of the last roll of film that went through the Yashica. It's been so, so beautiful here lately.

Lonny again

2011-05-11T12:09:00.000-07:00

May/June 2011 Issue | Lonnymag.com

I've been reading a lot of online magazines lately -- I don't like it as much as a print magazine because you can't really browse in the yard with an iced tea, but you can click through to featured blogs or portfolios, which is nice. Probably the one I read the most is Lonny, the closest thing to the sadly defunct Domino. It's consistent, the design is super clean, & it's just the right amt of feminine.

Wish I could not just link but embed them here for you...anyone know how?

Other colors

2011-05-10T23:10:00.000-07:00

1. ... kunst an der kuh ..., 2. add a little shimmer, 3. parasol, 4. ^, 5. when school is over, 6. Untitled
In the mood to share the things of others. Nearly all the photos I've loved lately have had this color code.

Spring Samasara

2011-05-08T13:41:00.000-07:00

Spring Samsara by Phantastic Symphony

I still plan on sharing a Spring Mix before spring is officially over, but in the mean time I'm happy to share someone else's. I've been listening to this as I write & maybe you would like to listen to it too!

cultural capitalism & so on

2011-05-07T17:12:00.000-07:00

Been thinking a lot abt what Zizek says about charity here, weighing it against my own thoughts about how to change the larger situation as well as the true cost of items & what it means when a larger percentage of your money goes towards things you believe in or want to support via the places you choose to support:
(It's amazing. Srsly. Watch it through.)

On the tail end of that, I spent my own cheap, charitable optimism for April on (unsurprisingly) Red Cross' South & Midwest Storm's Relief Fund. I did it through Brooks Brothers, because they are matching donations up to $50,000, so at least my tiny efforts are doubled. Would Zizek grumble? Probably. If Brooks Brothers doesn't do it for you either, that's ok; I'm sure you can find other places that will gift-match!

I have May's donation lined up, but I'll save that for another post.

shed/found

2011-04-30T17:14:00.001-07:00

The second roll

2011-04-25T13:58:00.000-07:00

I took the GSN to Forest Park & Mt. Tabor:

Also, I had Jon Pack Approve or Disapprove of a few things I've been thinking a lot about lately. Namely: watercolors, frothed milk, hanging planters, red lipstick first thing in the morning & cafes that play all French music (a trend I've noticed in at least 2 places I frequent).

Can you guess where we differed in opinion?

the soul of the apartment

2011-04-20T12:16:00.000-07:00

It must be the extension of spring, of the light & blossoms & the clearing away of the past & the ephemeral nature of this season that's got me thinking constantly about space & use & color & capture & the internal in the external. I've been drawn to books of all sorts concerning interior design, so I picked up Alain de Botton's Architecture of Happiness, but something in it struck me as clinical or analytical or outside of. Whatever I was feeling wasn't reflected there.

I've also been reading Baudelaire's Paris Spleen, where I came across this description of the imagined & desired place, & it absolutely resonated with me:
Yes, there we must go to breath, to dream, to extend the hours by an infinity of sensations. A musician has written Invitation to the Waltz; who will compose Invitation to the Voyage to offer to the woman we love, to our chosen sister?
Yes, in that atmosphere we could build the good life--there where slower time yields more thought, where clocks chime out happiness with a deeper and more significant solemnity.
On glistening walls, or on darkly gilded vellum, live unobtrusive paintings, blissful, calm, deep, like the souls of the artists who created them. The setting sun's violent colors reach dining room and parlor, subdued by fine curtains or through tall windows worked in small leaded panes. The furnishings are immense, curious, bizarre, larded with locks and secret recesses, like subtle souls. Mirrors, metals, fabric, fold-work, earthenware, compose for the eyes a mute and mysterious symphony, while from all of it--from every corner, crevices in drawers, folds of the linen--a singular perfume escapes, a Sumatra come-back-here, the soul of the apartment.
A true Cockaigne, I tell you, where all is opulent, proper, gleaming, like a clean conscience, like magnificent kitchen utensils, like splendid gold-work, like gaudy jewels! Treasures of the world abound there, as in the house of a hard worker who as well deserved the whole world. Singular land, as superior to all others as Art is to Nature, Nature made over by dream, corrected, embellished, remolded.
-from Invitation to the Voyage

Is it any wonder I choose poetry over philosophy every time?

The Owls are Not What They Seem

2011-04-18T17:14:00.000-07:00

Continuing on the real-film love theme, I just discovered this incredible gallery of moody photos on Lomography.com. It even comes with its own (non Twin Peaks) soundtrack. Some of my favorites:

{via The Owls are Not What They Seem}

I expected to see photos from Diana's & LC-A's, but was surprised to find plenty of non-lomo cameras among the bunch. I didn't even know what some of the cameras were: Great Wall DF? Revue 35 CC? Canon Canonet QL17 GIII?

Whatever, I'm a fan.

Extra kudos to them for using a Log Lady line.

flower-fall

2011-04-17T17:12:00.000-07:00

The Yashica is even more than I hoped for:

Also I forgot about the fun mysteries of film, when it doesn't wind quite the whole way & yr next photo gets a bit printed on the last one:

The neighbors behind me bought chickens today & then invited a lot of people over. Right now they are trying to coax them out into the yard by strumming a guitar & singing to them. The song pretty much goes "chickennnnnns, chickens, chick-eh-ah-eh-ah-eh-nnns."

Its, um, Portland.

3.50

2011-04-16T20:44:00.000-07:00

Did you know April was poetry month?

You did.

Did you know I love the dead?

You did.

Did you know I wrote a chapbook about the dead? & I asked the completely rad Emma Brown Trithart to do the artwork & she said yes? & Blood Pudding Press put it out?

Ok, well did you also know that because it's Poetry Month Blood Pudding is having a 50% off sale on all chapbooks? This means you can get my chapbook for only $3.50.

Really.

Use code APRILBLOODPOEM when you check out & love on my little poems as much as I do.

Mtn Mention

2011-04-15T08:40:00.000-07:00

So, Courduroy Mtn. 3 has been loosed on the world.

I'm in there along with the likes of Friedrich Kerksieck, MC Hyland, Paige Taggart & more. I haven't gotten my copy yet, but I am tingly just thinking about it. The poems are printed on pamphlets that are all tucked inside an envelope along with some goodies including a "a handmade 40 page ephemera booklet." What could that mean? I'm not sure! Order one & see!

Seriously though; have you ever gotten something from Greying Ghost? It's always gorgeous. Furthermore, it's full of pretty/wacky/dead-on treats. It's worth it just to get a truly joyful package in yr mailbox. When was the last time you got one of those?

All around

2011-04-14T11:44:00.000-07:00

A few favored pictures from the last roll of film that went through my Holga:

I'm not a very good winder, apparently, so there was a lot of light-leak when I took the roll out.

M says on the computer they just look like photos that went through some filter. It's true.

& isn't it sad? Everything's just a filter now.

Magics!

2011-04-13T14:38:00.000-07:00

Some magical stuff has happened for me lately & I'm hoping it's setting the tone for this year.

1. A short while ago I found (& listened to incessantly & will share with you soon) a song that reminded me of a soundtrack to a Brandon Downing film. I sent it to him & asked him to make me a film using this song. He answered me with something cryptic about dispatching rare prizes & the very next day this showed up in my mailbox:

This is a picture of the two of us he made for me last year & put in the mail the day before I emailed him the song. I'm not sure if he's the fox & I'm the sea, or he's the sea & I'm the fox, or he's the fox & I'm my own puffy rainbow-lettered name, but it is glorious & mind-readingly thoughtful (that picture doesn't do it justice).

2. I'm always after some '70s camera or another (have you SEEN the prices of SX-70s these days? Madness.) & lately every time I see some lady blogger with her shiny silvery Yashica I feel all dreamy inside (this also happens with No. 6 clogs & almost anything from confettisystem). So I texted a friend who goes thrifting often (to fill her lovely vintage shop) to be on the lookout for an Electro 35 with a hot shoe (only the last two models included them) & grab it for me if it was under $20. The next day (coincidence?) I went to hunt around in the cookbook section of Goodwill & as I passed the jewelry, video games & random camera bits counter, there it was: a Yashica GSN for $20:

Sweetening the deal? This neckstrap:

I popped in a roll of film & a new battery this morning, but the non-stop rain/hail is keeping me indoors. Really excited to see how the pictures turn out (assuming all's well with the camera) because I hear the images are super sharp. Also excited to share some Holga shots tomorrow.

Did you know that a Middle English variant for spelling magic was malgyk? Now you do.

In/Every

2011-04-10T21:00:00.001-07:00

{via Kate MacDowell}